How can you change the world? You can’t. You aren’t responsible for the world either. Your neighbor does not answer to you. However, he/she will answer to God. We are only responsible for what God tells us to do.

At times, I have a great desire to change other people. I want to “fix” them. I want to tell them that if they would only to this or that, their life would be pleasing to God. But that is usually not for me to do.

It all starts with us. We only have control over our own actions. We must overcome sin, self and Satan in our own lives before we can overcome sin and Satan in the world. We can only give to others what we have ourselves. If we do not have the fruit of the spirit, how can we give fruit to anyone else? If we do not love our neighbor, how can we teach others love? If we cannot control ourselves, how can we teach others self-control? If we do not have control over our own family, how can we expect to govern others in the kingdom of God? If we are not submitted to God, how can we show others how to submit to Him?

Recently, I read an article explaining that if you want to change a country’s political system, you must forget about the presidency and focus your efforts on winning the election for the local dog catcher. The president cannot change the system if the whole system is entrenched against him. The system must be changed from the ground up. The advancement of the Kingdom of God is the same way. We oftentimes dream of doing something big for the kingdom. Some want to become missionaries or pastors or be in full-time ministry. Those desires are often the same as the desire to become president. “If only I can become a missionary, I could then win thousands for Christ!” Unfortunately, until the proper foundations are laid in individuals’ hearts, effort is wasted.

Before we can help others obey God, we must be able to hear and obey Jesus ourselves. Only then can we be qualified to be a testimony for our Lord.

I sang in a barber shop quartet while attending the University of Kansas. The other day, we watched an old video of the quartet. One of the songs was a KU fight song that elicited a “patriotic” response from the crowd. A couple of days later, my wife had a dream about this song which led to a discussion about the implications of some of the lines in the lyrics such as, “I will always be true to the crimson and the blue” and “singing praise to our dear old alma mater.” I had to repent of pledging allegiance to the crimson and the blue. During our discussion, I asked, “What does alma mater mean?”

According to the Wikipedia,

Alma mater is Latin for “nourishing mother.” It was used in ancient Rome as a title for various mother goddesses, and in Medieval Christianity for the Virgin Mary. In modern times it is ordinarily used to refer to the university or college a person attended. In US-American English, it may also be used in reference to the high school from which an individual has graduated.

I was amazed. All these years I have been referring to the schools I had graduated from as my “nourishing mother.” Needless to say, I immediately repented because Jesus is my provider, not an educational institution.

We have heard over the years many say that you HAVE to get a college degree to get a good job. In essence, “they” are saying that college is a “nourishing mother” in that its diploma will provide for your needs. Schooling has become an idol. People worship education. The put their trust in it. They sing praises to their “nourishing mother.” They give their offerings to it. They pledge allegiance to it. They send their children (and money) to it. They attend its ceremonies (eg. commencement exercises) wherein they pump up their graduates with pride. They proudly display their school’s mascot on their cars, home, clothing, etc. They go to their school’s sporting events and do silly things like scream, yell, chant and do waves. If you think about it, these “alma maters” have all the trappings of a religion, including priests (professors), temples (buildings), indoctrinations, teachings, creeds, songs, ceremonies, initiation rituals (especially in fraternities and sororities), sacrifices (often the students enter college at least nominally a Christian but end up rejecting Christ by the time they leave the system), offerings, state sponsorship, etc. Schools, even most “Christian” schools, exalt knowledge above God.

I did not intend to focus on the idolatry in the schooling systems. The important principle is that Christ is all we need. He is our provision. Whenever we trust in anything else for our provision, it becomes an idol.

While it is possible to learn something beneficial from an educational institution, they are not necessary. My son recently got a job with an international company that was looking for a candidate with a masters degree. My son was home educated and taught himself the necessary skills to do the job. He did not have a GED or any college instruction. The important thing is to trust in the Lord, hear his voice and obey. My son did not get the job by sitting around and waiting for it. Faith requires action, but only action in response to the direction of the Lord.

We don’t need an “alma mater.” We do need Christ.

I have written much on hearing and obeying because it is a fundamental truth. If you look for it, it is all throughout the Scriptures. Psalm 81 is another discourse on the importance of hearing and obeying.

Hear, O My people, and I will admonish you! O Israel, if you will listen to Me! There shall be no foreign god among you: nor shall you worship any foreign god. I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt; open your mouth wide, and I will fill it. But My people would not heed My voice, and Israel would have none of Me. So I gave them over to their own stubborn heart, to walk in their own counsels. Oh, that My people would listen to Me, that Israel would walk in My ways! I would soon subdue their enemies, and turn My hand against their adversaries. The haters of the Lord would pretend submission to Him, but their fate would endure forever. He would have fed them also with the finest of wheat; and with honey from the rock I would have satisfied you. Psalm 81:8-16.

To the Chief Musician. On an instrument of Gath. [fn] A Psalm of Asaph. Sing aloud to God our strength; Make a joyful shout to the God of Jacob.
	Psa 81:2	Raise a song and strike the timbrel, The pleasant harp with the lute.
	Psa 81:3	Blow the trumpet at the time of the New Moon, At the full moon, on our solemn feast day.
	Psa 81:4	For this [is] a statute for Israel, A law of the God of Jacob.
	Psa 81:5	This He established in Joseph [as] a testimony, When He went throughout the land of Egypt, [Where] I heard a language I did not understand.
	Psa 81:6	“I removed his shoulder from the burden; His hands were freed from the baskets.
	Psa 81:7	You called in trouble, and I delivered you; I answered you in the secret place of thunder; I tested you at the waters of Meribah. Selah
	Psa 81:8	“Hear, O My people, and I will admonish you! O Israel, if you will listen to Me!
	Psa 81:9	There shall be no foreign god among you; Nor shall you worship any foreign god.
	Psa 81:10	I [am] the LORD your God, Who brought you out of the land of Egypt; Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it.
	Psa 81:11	“But My people would not heed My voice, And Israel would [have] none of Me.
	Psa 81:12	So I gave them over to their own stubborn heart, To walk in their own counsels.
	Psa 81:13	“Oh, that My people would listen to Me, That Israel would walk in My ways!
	Psa 81:14	I would soon subdue their enemies, And turn My hand against their adversaries.
	Psa 81:15	The haters of the LORD would pretend submission to Him, But their fate would endure forever.
	Psa 81:16	He would have fed them also with the finest of wheat; And with honey from the rock I would have satisfied you.”

The kingdom of God is simple. We enter the kingdom by hearing God and obeying. Unfortunately, we have an adversary who does everything he can to hinder us from entering into the kingdom and from producing fruit. In the parable of the sower, Jesus explains how our adversary, Satan, works to keep us from entering the kingdom.

If Satan cannot prevent us from hearing the word, he uses the following techniques after the word has been spoken:

1. Snatches the word away from the heart.
2. Persecutes us.
3. Chokes us with the cares of this world and the deceitfulness of riches.

If the person’s heart is hard, Satan is able to snatch the word from the person’s heart before it can take route.

If there is a little bit of soil and the word takes root before it can be snatched away, Satan will bring some persecution or tribulation to cause the person to stumble.

If the word falls on better soil, Satan will plant weeds to grow up and choke the word. If you have seen a vegetable garden choked with weeds, you know how little fruit is produced.

All these techniques stop the production of fruit. If we abide in the vine (Jesus), we will produce fruit which glorifies God. Failure to produce fruit is evidence of not abiding in the vine. Satan does not care what you do as long as you are not producing fruit. It matters not whether you attend services, bible studies or prayer meetings. The production of the fruit of the Spirit is all that matters.

The seed that fell on the good ground are those who, having heard the word with a noble and good heart, keep it and bear fruit with patience. (Luke 8:15)

It all comes down to hearing the word and obeying. The kingdom of God is about listening for God’s voice, hearing His voice, and doing what He tells us to do. Satan successfully hinders us from producing fruit and entering the kingdom if he can keep us from any one of these things.

Let our goal be to please Jesus, who died for us and rose again. (2 Cor 5:9 & 15)

I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in Me, he is cast out as a branch and is withered; and they gather them and throw them into the fire, and they are burned. John 15:5-6.

We must abide in Christ to produce fruit. If we do not abide in Him, we with wither, die and be cast out. We know we are abiding in Jesus when we see fruit in our lives (i.e. love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Gal. 5:22-23.)  If we see in our lives the works of the flesh (See Gal. 5:19-21), we know we are not abiding in Jesus. Those who practice the works of the flesh will not inherit the kingdom of God. (Gal. 5:21)

We abide in Jesus by keeping His commandments. His commandment is that we should believe on the name of His Son Jesus Christ and love one another. (1Jn 3:23.) Believing in Jesus is more than saying, “I believe Jesus is the Son of God who died for my sins.” Believing requires action because faith without works is dead. (James 2:14-20.) Believing on the name of Jesus is hearing what He says and then doing it. We are in unbelief if we hear but do not obey. Unbelief is like a woman who says that “Joe” is her husband, but lives with “Sam”. John puts it this way, “He who says, ‘I know Him,’ and does not keep His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him.” (1Jn 1:4.) John also said, “He who says he abides in Him ought himself also to walk just as He walked.” Abiding in Christ is listening for his voice and then doing what He says to do. Hear and obey. It is simple, yet Jesus called it the difficult and narrow path.

The main hindrance to our obedience is our own will. If God asks us to do something that we do not want to do, we have a choice. We will either choose to ignore Him or to lay down our will and do His will. We abide in Jesus by doing His will. Choosing to follow our will, we choose death. The only way to be an overcomer is to continually abide in Jesus. In John 6:48-54, Jesus tells us that He is the bread of life, and that eats His flesh and drinks His blood has age-during life and that He will raise him up at the last day. We eat His flesh and drink His blood by abiding in the vine because the branch gets its food from the vine.

Friends, let us abide in Jesus and produce much fruit so that our heavenly Father may be glorified. (John 15:8.)

The following persons or those who practice the following things will NOT inherit the kingdom of God:

There is a danger in pursuing the law instead of Christ. The religious spirit traps a person into pursuing the law. Since you cannot keep the law, you will be trapped by guilt and condemnation.

We have some Seventh Day Adventist friends. In their hearts they love the Lord and strive to live a righteous life. However, their religion has deceived them into believing they must observe the Sabbath and to not eat meat. One time, they invited us to pick cherries from their cherry trees, but she pleaded for us not to come on the Sabbath. That was okay with us, but by the tone of her voice we could tell she was fearful of breaking the Sabbath as their church taught it. Another time, they came to our home for an Independence Day barbecue. Respecting their vegetarianism, we also grilled some vegetables. Unfortunately, they were very uncomfortable with the fact that the vegetables were cooked on the same grill as the meat. Again, it was their fear of breaking some commandment of God. It is good to have a fear of the Lord, but their fears were extreme and driven by guilt and condemnation.

Our focus and pursuit must be Christ, not His commands or the law. This does not make the commands or the law evil. Neither does this mean that we do not have to obey them. But a focus on commands and law leads to a ministry of death. (See 2 Cor. 3:6-18.) The Pharisees pursued the law, but they missed Jesus. They also killed Jesus and his followers. Saul had a ministry of death, literally, until he met Jesus on the road to Damascus.  Many theologians write bitter criticisms of those who disagree with their doctrines. They are producing death, not life. Some, like the Catholic church or John Calvin, eventually gain enough political power to actually put their theological opponents to death.

I have never met a person or group of people caught up in legalism who produced life. Most of these folks would vehemently deny that they were in legalism. They all would claim others were in legalism. However, Jesus said you would know people by their fruits. Do they exude love, joy and peace without trying? Do they display patience, kindness and gentleness in the midst of a trial? Do they trust in God or do they live in fear? Do they set you free or do they bind you up? Are they genuine or fake? Many put on facades to cover up who they really are. Outward appearances can be deceiving.

I became involved in a church for a time that was extremely legalistic. They presented themselves to the community as very nice, loving, and godly people. Some of their doctrines were more correct than other churches. They would not sue you or fight in a war. They would be the first relief group to arrive at the scene of a disaster. They were full of good works and had some doctrine right. However, beneath the facade was wickedness. In a “loving and quiet way”, they would destroy the marriages and the lives of anyone who would dare to challenge their authority. In the local congregation, they excommunicated an 80 year old man because he had a wrong spirit and wasn’t fully compliant with the ministers (i.e. he occasionally voiced opinions differing from those of the leadership. This man grew up in this church. He was a successful farmer, loving husband and an honest man. However, because he was expelled, his family and friends refuse to eat at the same table with him. Even his wife shuns him. His son is the minister of the congregation and he lead the effort to expel his own father! The man now lives in a rest home, completely confused and angry. He never understood why they excommunicated him. These folks have a ministry of death, yet they think they are alive and following Christ.

Legalism is striving to obey the commandments (even good ones) on your own effort without a relationship with Christ. If you made a long list of the commands of Jesus and the apostles and tried to keep them, it would produce legalism. The above group does not have a relationship with Christ. They think they do, but they don’t. They are not producing the fruit of the Spirit because they are not abiding in the Vine. You cannot produce good fruit while attached to a bitter root.

Only through a relationship can you truly obey the commandments. For example, if relationships are important, then an agreement with a handshake is honored. However, if no relationship exists between the parties to an agreement, then it is less likely that an agreement would be honored. A party would be more willing to break the agreement if it was in his self-interest to do so. The lack of a relationship with the other party produces little consideration toward the injured party.

Another example can be seen in a marriage. If a husband and wife have a good relationship, they do not need a law to keep them true to each other. They do not need to be told, “Thou shalt not commit adultery.” Instead, the law is written on their hearts. They would not think of cheating on their partner.

If the focus is on the relationship, the law is not needed to control conduct. The law is not done away with, it just is not needed in a good relationship. In the great judgment described in Matthew 25:31-46, the sheep had obeyed the Lord without realizing it. It is interesting that they were judged on their acts of compassion done in love. They were not judged on whether they obeyed the law of Moses and the ten commandments. They were not judged on whether they their doctrine was right or they attended church every week or they kept the Sabbath.

In a relationship, we listen to the other person and respond to them. If we are in relationship with God, we listen for His voice, discern His will and obey. This is abiding in the Vine. God also listens to us and responds to us. Moses had a relationship with God. They conversed face to face. Moses listened and obeyed. The children of Israel did not what to listen and thus did not have a relationship with their God. Consequently, they only had the law written on stones instead of hearing God themselves. They wanted Moses to hear for them and then tell them what God said. (See Exodus 20:18-21.) The result is history. They could not keep the law. In Acts 15:10, Peter said, “neither our fathers nor we were able to bear [the yoke of the law.]” The conclusion of the council of Jerusalem was that they were not going to put the burden of keeping the law of Moses on the gentile Christians. This includes the “ten commands” which is a summary of the law of Moses.

Paul called the law of Moses a ministry of death. Pursuing commandments, rules and regulations produces pride, legalism and death. It puffs us up. Pursuing a relationship with Jesus produces life.

Life and death are set before you. Choose Life!

And I will very gladly spend and be spent for your souls; though the more abundantly I love you, the less I am loved. 2 Cor. 12:15

For God so loved the world that He gave… John 3:16

And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 1 Cor. 13:2

If you do not have love, you are nothing. (1 Cor. 13:2) Love covers a multitude of sins. (1 Pet. 4:8)

God loves all his children, even those who are totally rebellious. We should likewise love our children. That does not mean we should tolerate rebellion. As God chastens and scourges the children He loves, we also need to discipline our children.

Love is not catering to your child’s every desire. It is not serving your child hand and foot. God does not cater to our every whim and desire and neither should we. However, God gave himself to us to save us and mature us so we will eventually become mature sons of God. Paul gave himself to the Corinthians so they could come to the knowledge of the Lord. Likewise, we should spend and be spent for our children. This means spending time with them and imparting to them our wisdom and knowledge. It means shaping their character and correcting them when needed.

A parent’s greatest ministry is to love their children. I am appalled by stories of missionaries who put their children in boarding school so they can do their missionary activities. Those folks missed their calling. The missionary boards that required it were evil. They failed in ministry because they abandoned their children and let them be raised by others who could not possibly love them as much as they could themselves.

I personally think that many parents who ship their children off to school six hours a day are making a similar mistake. (I am an advocate of home education. However, I understand that sometimes home education is not the best option. My purpose for this paragraph is to point out one of the greatest dangers of institutional learning, not to condemn parents who choose not to homeschool. I do urge parents to carefully consider all their motives went choosing how to educate their children.) They are allowing their children to be trained by their peers (primarily) and their teachers. I was grieved when I once heard a Christian mother express her joy at finally sending all her children off to school so she could have free time. The children suffer from this rejection. Instead of spending themselves for their children, these parents do as they please. Remember, love does not seek its own. (1 Cor. 13:5)

Love is described in 1 Cor. 13. A good exercise is to daily meditate on this chapter substituting the word “love” with “I”. It would read:

I suffer long and am kind; I do not envy; I do not parade myself, am not puffed up; I do not behave rudely, do not seek my own, am not provoked, think no evil; do not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoice in the truth; I bear all things, believe all things, hope all things, endure all things.

God is love. He is all these things and He wants us to BE love also. As we conform ourselves to His image, we also become these things. As we make 1 Cor. 13 our confession and earnestly seek to be love, we will be conformed to His image. It is a process as we grow in Him.

As we minister love to our children, they will become conformed to His image and they too will become love. It takes training and consistently demonstrating love to our children. It takes time. It takes being with them.

As parents we will fail because we are still walking the path of maturity. However, love covers a multitude of sins. If we love our children and walk in forgiveness, love will cover our mistakes. When our children know they are loved, they can overlook our mistakes.

Love creates a safe and peaceful environment in our home. Our children feel safe and secure and will blossom. Love is the glue that holds relationships together and makes them satisfying.

As with everything we have discussed in this book, love flows downhill. God loves us. We are to love God. Husbands are to love their wives and their children. Wives are to love their husbands and children. Children will then love everyone, even their siblings.

Now when [the wise men] had departed, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream, saying, “Arise, take the young Child and His mother, flee to Egypt, and stay there until I bring you word; for Herod will seek the young Child to destroy Him.” When he arose, he took the young Child and His mother by night and departed for Egypt. Mat 2:13-14.

The other day as I was listening to the Bible in my car. The story of Joseph taking Jesus to Egypt struck me. After Joseph heard the word of the Lord, he immediately obeyed! He did not even wait until the morning. As soon as he woke up, he got up, roused his wife and the child, saddled the donkey, packed the gifts he received the day before, and was out of town before dawn. That was instant obedience. That was faith. That is what God expects of us. That is what we should expect from our children.

Faith is simply hearing God’s voice and obeying. It is so simple, yet we often find ourselves either not hearing God’s voice, not obeying, or not doing either. Jesus said, “Therefore whoever hears these sayings of Mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise man who built his house on the rock.” He goes on to say that if we hear and obey we will stand. If not, we will fall. The preacher in Ecclesiastes comes to the conclusion that man’s all is to fear God and keep His commandments. In other words, hearing God and obeying is man’s all. There is no room for anything else.

In Hebrews 3:15 we find “Today, if you will hear His voice, do not harden you hearts as in the rebellion.” The next verse shows that the Israelites heard God’s voice but did not obey (i.e. they rebelled). Verse 19 then sums it up, “So we see that they could not enter in because of unbelief.” Unbelief is equated to hearing and not obeying. The writer spends two chapters driving in this point. If you don’t obey God, you are in unbelief and will not enter into the promised land of God’s kingdom.

This is why we must become like children to enter the kingdom of God. We enter by learning to hear God’s voice and obeying just like children learn to hear their parent’s voice and obey. Jesus told the religious rulers that he only did what the Father told him to do. If Jesus operated by this principle, how much more should we. In John 6:29, Jesus tells us that the work of God is to believe in Jesus. To believe in Jesus is to hear Him and do what he says to do.

Now, if we are not hearing and obeying the Lord, how can we expect our children to hear and obey us? We are a hypocrite if we try. When we get into the habit of instant obedience, our children will learn by our example and we won’t be open to the charge of being a hypocrite when we expect instant obedience from them.

What child doesn’t need to be trained to obey? My wife and I raised eight children and we had to train every single one of them to obey. Every child is extremely selfish by nature and so are we. Like children, our heavenly Father gently trains us in obedience. The mark of a mature person is their level of obedience. An unselfish person obeys their proper authorities. They are mature.

I’m convinced that we cannot obey God in our own strength. However, God gives us the grace to obey. Some people are more strong-willed than others and they take more correction to become obedient. If we want to obey, God will bring us into perfect obedience. King David committed sins that would disqualify him from leadership in most churches today, but he was a man after God’s own heart. Why? Because he willingly submitted himself to God’s discipline. He, like Jesus, learned obedience through the things he suffered. We likewise will learn obedience through the things we suffer.

My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him; For whom the Lord loves He chastens, and scourges every son whom He receives. Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. Heb. 12:5, 6, 11

God chastens His children. In order to understand how we should chasten our children, we must understand how God, as a perfect father, chastens us.

In 1 Cor. 10:11-12, Paul writes, “Now all these things happened to them as examples, and they were written for our admonition, upon whom the ends of the ages have come. Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall.” In other words, God shows us how He deals with us by showing how He dealt with Israel.

The basic method he used was:

1. He laid down the rules;
2. He told them the consequences of obedience and disobedience;
3. In His mercy, He would send a prophet to confront their disobedience and call them to repentance; and,
4. If they did not repent, He judged them according to His law and executed the judgment.

God never surprised them with a judgment. They never had to ask, “Why is God doing this to us?” It was written in the law and God would send a prophet to remind them of the law. (Unfortunately, they usually rejected and/or killed the prophets.) We need to make sure our children fully understand what we expect of them and that they know the consequences of violating our rules.

Under the law, the punishments fit the crimes. If you stole a chicken, you owed the victim two to five chickens depending on the circumstances. If restitution was impossible (for instance in murder, rape or adultery) death was imposed. Be sure to meet out punishment in accordance with your child’s “crime”. If your punishment does not fit the “crime”, your child will sense the injustice and will begin to resent you and your unfairness. It is called “provoking your children to wrath” in Ephesians 6:4.

The purpose of punishment under the law is restoration. When the guilty party had completed the punishment, whether it was receiving the assigned number of stripes or making restoration to the victim, he was no longer under the judgment of the law. He was restored to his place in society. His victim was made whole and justice was done. Although punishment involves some sort of pain, the purpose of the pain was not revenge, but restoration.

We cannot punish our children to get revenge. Many parents punish their children because they made them mad, embarrassed them, or inconvenienced them. The parent simply gets back at the child by inflicting pain. This is unacceptable and childish. We always need to check our attitudes when meeting out punishment. Punishment should always be given with the goal of the restoration of the child and not out of anger or revenge.

As a side note, if you compare our current criminal justice system to God’s system, you will see that our system is not very biblical or just. God did not provide for prisons in His system. Locking a person up does not provide restitution to the victim or do anything to restore the criminal to a right place is society.

Sometimes children need to be reminded of the rules and the consequences of disobedience. Young minds can forget. However, sometimes the judgment needs to be executed swiftly. This is where wisdom and discernment come in. A parent needs to have wisdom on when to warn and when to execute swift judgment. God is merciful and when justice demands, he gives opportunity to repent before executing judgment. Other times, in His mercy, he will execute judgment swiftly. He never delays judgment because He is lazy.

God imposed increasingly harsh punishments on Israel if they persisted in their disobedience. See Deut. 28 & 29 for examples. First, He would put them under a wooden yoke where He would send invading armies to occupy the land. If they did not repent and submit to that judgment, He would put them under an iron yoke. Under an iron yoke, He would send a tyrannical leader to besiege their cities until they were destroyed. The remnant would then be deported and carried into captivity to serve the conquering king. This finally happened when Assyria conquered Israel and Babylon conquered Judah. When we punish our children, we likewise need to increase the severity of the punishment if they continue to rebel. (See Deut. 28 and Jer. 27 & 28 for further study. Especially look at Deut. 28:48, Jer. 27:11 and Jer. 28:13.)

Unfortunately, sometimes older children refuse to come into submission even after chastening. Under the law of Moses in Deut. 21:18-21, the rebellious son would be brought before the community for trial and if found guilty, would be stoned to death. This presents a picture of how God views rebellion. It is serious stuff. We do not stone children today. I believe under the new testament we are to follow the pattern suggested by Paul in 1 Cor. 5:5 and 1 Tim. 1:20. He directs the unrepentant person be delivered to Satan that they learn not to sin. This may involve sending an older child out of the house to live on their own without help. This would be a serious matter and should not be undertaken lightly. All this may seem harsh, but God takes a dim view on rebellion.

Applying the proper level of chastisement is very important. We need wisdom in knowing what type of chastisement to apply under the situation. We were in the home of some friends and watched the mother spank her four-year-old very hard. My wife asked, “What did he do to deserve that?” She replied, “He didn’t come when I called.” I agree that it is important to train children to obey instantly and that it is proper to use the rod, but the harsh punishment did not seem to fit. We hurt for the child. In our opinion, our friends were in general too harsh by usually spanking too hard.

On the other hand, people err by never spanking their child. These folks ignore scriptures like Prov. 13:24 which says, “He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly.”

This brings us to an important point regarding parenting. People love legalism. They want step by step instructions for every situation. They want someone to tell them what to do. They do not want to hear God for themselves because it takes effort and they do not want the responsibility of hearing God for themselves. However, we need to seek God for wisdom and understanding. It is not enough to have a library of parenting books. It is better to rely on God for parenting wisdom than to rely on man’s wisdom.

We are not computers that follow programs that produce predictable results based on inputed data. If we try to rely on methods that tell us to do this when your child does that, we will ultimately become frustrated. We are complex beings in a complex world with many hidden things affecting us. Sometimes, the reasons why children act certain ways are hidden. For instance, demons lodge themselves in and try to hide their true identity. Without revelation knowledge and/or discernment, the root problem will not be revealed because the true identity of the demon is hidden. The only way we can know what to do in every situation is to reply on the Holy Spirit to give us heavenly wisdom and understanding.

When a child is not responding to one form of discipline, we must stop and assess the situation. Maybe the rebellion is not simply coming from the child’s will. Maybe there is another root to the problem. Friends of ours had a two-year-old who was consistently resisting all forms of correction. The methods they were taught were not working. As a consequence, the mother was getting very frustrated. The methods worked for others, but not for her. One day, the mother learned about the spirit of rejection. For a year, the mother had put her daughter in a daycare while she finished out a work contract. It was painful for both the mother and daughter. After learning that placing a child in daycare allows spirits of rejection to come into a child, she repented, asked her daughter for forgiveness, and took action to evict the spirit. Then, instead of sending the misbehaving two-year-old to her room to sit on her bed with her hands folded on her lap, the mother began holding her and telling her how much she loved her. Within a week, she saw a dramatic change in her daughter. Her attitude started changing, she quit pushing away from her parents, and peace came into the home. The little girl was being tormented by the spirit of rejection and isolation did not help her. Instead, the mother used the revelation from God to understand how to set her daughter free so she could become the obedient child God has called her to be. Now, the little girl requires fewer spankings and other forms of chastisement because her stronghold of rejection was overcome.

The thing that set the mother free was the revelation that she can rely on wisdom from God to help her parent her child instead of relying on the methods in her parenting books. It brought her peace from the fear of not disciplining her child correctly.